Arthur Salyakaev: “Non-random connections. Networking as a way of life"

Artur Salyakaev, “Non-random connections. Networking as a way of life" - M.: "Alpina Publisher" , 2014

Of course, the life of every person is directly influenced by his environment. Successful people note that most of the people around them are equally successful people. The book “Non-Random Connections” was written with only one purpose: to identify step-by-step algorithms for effectively building human connections. Some will say that this is a matter of chance, luck, or even luck! “Being in the right place at the right time” is what we often hear. Yes, this is partly true, but studies have shown that it is only 15%. And our main task is to figure out what the secret of the remaining 85% is. The book was written for those who want to systematize their ideas about relationships between people, analyze their social capital and learn to move towards their goals step by step.

Know how to listen

Remember, you can tell amazing stories, be the bearer of the most relevant and interesting information, but at the same time be a terrible interlocutor. After all, the skill of maintaining a conversation lies in the ability to listen carefully and ask the right questions in a timely manner. Below I will list just a few of my favorite active listening techniques.

Technique 1: notes on napkins . A person remembers information better when he writes it down. Everyone knows about this. If your interlocutor sees that you are briefly highlighting important points of the conversation (website addresses, company names, their new services), this will certainly create the impression of your interest.

Technique 2: stifle the know-it-all inside you . In each of us lives a know-it-all, a kind of little person who believes that he knows absolutely everything. It is he who shouts out the phrases “I understand what you mean, don’t continue” when the interlocutor has not yet finished speaking. Or his most famous hit is finishing sentences for the interlocutor, believing that this is exactly what he wanted to say. This not only confuses and confuses your interlocutor, but is also terribly annoying. Do you want to ruin everything? Turn on the know-it-all!

Technique 3: Dog on the dashboard . Yes, I agree, a very strange name for a technique, I’ll explain now. In many Russian cars a couple of years ago you could find such an accessory: a dog, whose body was glued to the dashboard, and its head constantly nodded up and down. It seemed to me that it was simply impossible to stop her. What does networking have to do with it? Everything is very simple. Your interlocutor needs to make it clear that you are listening to him, you understand. You can make this clear with the phrases “Yes, yes,” “I agree,” and gestures: nodding your head, a slight smile. The main thing is that your interlocutor sees that you are interested and want to continue listening to him.

Technique 4: use your know-how . We have already dealt with the know-it-all, but the complete opposite also lives within us - a know-it-all, a little person who wants to know more. There is only one drawback - he is very shy and indecisive. Therefore, when we have listened to the interlocutor and something still remains unclear to us, we still say “I understand,” although something remains beyond our understanding. The modesty of a know-it-all sometimes greatly hinders us, and this is precisely what is worth fighting. If after the conversation you missed or did not understand something, find the courage to say so.

Technique 5: inhale - exhale - answer . When we are asked a simple question, already in the middle of it we model the answer in our heads. The main mistake is haste in answering. To ensure that your interlocutor is confident that your answer is fully thought out and balanced, use the simple rule “inhale - exhale - answer.” As soon as you are asked a question, first take a deep breath and exhale and only then answer the question.

Technique 6 : smart parrot . We are talking about paraphrases - a partial repetition of what the interlocutor has just said. It works very simply, you just need to repeat the last 2-3 words with a questioning intonation. For example:

— When I wrote a book about networking, I made practically no corrections in it and wrote as I speak.

— Did you write as you say?

- Yes, I don’t have any technology or education as a philologist, but I have the desire to write a book, so I just did it as best I can.

Be careful when using paraphrase constantly; your interlocutor may think that you are making fun of him or not listening, and, by the way, he will be completely right. That’s why the technique is called “smart parrot”. Be smart, alternate techniques between each other.

Don't interrupt

How often have you felt confident that you know what your interlocutor will talk about next? He either explains things very long and in detail, or you have a highly developed intuition. At these moments, I really want to say “I understand,” “I know what you’re getting at.” Friends, try to overcome yourself in these moments. Don't interrupt your interlocutor. It's ugly to say the least. And also many may regard this as disrespect for themselves. Learn to listen and you will see how others will love you as an interlocutor.

Get the gist

Try to catch the most significant moments from your interlocutor’s speech and ask him the right questions. For example, if he told you, “Last week on the way to work I got a flat tire, because of this I didn’t have time to get my son to school and was late for a meeting,” this is a great opportunity to find out about his car, his son’s age, his name, school, which he studies, and his hobbies, as well as his place of work, where he was late for the planning meeting. Listen carefully and ask the right questions. But don't let your questions turn into an interrogation. Maintain balance.

The most famous fight involving Kulinsky

The first fight, held in the Hardcore ring, became the most spectacular and memorable in Kulinsky’s career. His opponent then was the Tajik fighter Usmon Dager Goibov.

The first round did not last even 2 minutes before Arthur started a fight. The battle had to be interrupted several times to moderate Akab's ardor. The spectators were indignant and indignant because of the fighter’s daring antics, the organizers tried to calm the crowd and the most heated participant. The hardest thing was for referee Alexander Sidorenko, who had to stop the fights that Kulinsky suddenly started.

By the end of the 1st round, Goibov felt ill, which became the reason for the defeat. Arthur Akab Kulinsky knocked out his opponent. But after the fight he behaved decently towards his opponent and asked how seriously Goibov’s body was damaged. He also apologized to the audience and the referee.

But Akab’s provocative antics did not end with this fight. Later, Kulinsky started a street fight with Hardcore Fighting Championship fighter Abubakar Mamedov, nicknamed “The Good One.” At the press conference that followed, Akab emotionally stated that he was going to leave Hardcore, that he had had enough fights in his life, and he no longer wanted to do the same thing in the ring. However, right at this event, the fighters made peace, Arthur agreed to stay.

Provocative behavior in the first fight and the subsequent street fight contributed to an increase in the number of not only subscribers, but haters on Instagram.

Aqab was bombarded with angry and offensive comments. But the fighter doesn’t care, he doesn’t even read them. Subsequent fights proved that Kulinsky was not going to change his behavior. So, during the second fight on Hardcore, his opponent Pavel Nosov, nicknamed “Loner,” became the winner of the 3rd round. This infuriated Akab. He left the ring, was absent for some time, and when he returned, he attacked Marif Piraev. Then, as after the first fight, he apologized to the referee and the audience.

Arthur Akab also made a scandalous appearance in the 3rd battle, which took place as part of the “Battle on the Water”. In the fight with Timur Nikulin, Kulinsky allowed himself many violations. For this he was deducted 2 points. The most unexpected and spectacular moment of the fight was when Akab spat out his mouth guard to grab his opponent’s ear with his teeth. But such an outburst did not bring him any closer to victory.

Attract people

Whenever possible, try to include people in your conversation who will benefit from the conversation. You create a win-win situation. Firstly, you do good for the participants in the conversation; a new person joins them, which means a new acquaintance and new information. Secondly, you help the person you invite into the conversation, because he gets to know several people at once. Third, you help yourself because you come across as a sociable person who knows everyone at the conference. A very important point is that if you invite a person, you are responsible for introducing him to your company. And if you don’t know him yourself, invite him to introduce himself. But don't leave your communication nameless.

Arthur Akab: biography and nationality

Artur Kulinsky is a sought-after fighter who gained fame after his first participation in Hardcore. Has a medium weight category. He received the nickname “Aqab” for the tattoo of four corresponding letters on his stomach.

The fighter’s popularity is largely due to his scandalous behavior, pugnacity outside the ring, and wild lifestyle.

Arthur is Russian by nationality. Once, having won a victory over the enemy, Kulinsky shouted: “Allah Akbar!” The audience was left perplexed: either the fighter professes Islam, or this is Nazi sarcasm. Arthur later explained his cry. In fact, he is a pagan, he believes in one God, and does not divide people by religion. When Arthur was asked what his nationality and religion were, he answered: “A man.”

Storytelling

Conveying a thought or idea through a story or parable increases the emotional background and makes it persuasive. History can embellish or highlight certain facts. Every successful networker’s archive contains several dozen interesting stories from his life or the lives of other people on any topic. He also knows as many interesting parables and myths. Whatever the topic, a successful networker will be able to decorate it with a memorable story. This will not only allow you to be remembered among everyone else, but will also create the impression of an interesting, educated person. Do you have such stories? I'm sure there is, you just haven't thought about it. Think and write everything down in one notebook. Do not throw away this notebook and constantly replenish it.

Show a sense of humor

It is difficult to overestimate the importance of humor in communicating with people. People with a good sense of humor always have many friends, and it is much easier for them to establish connections with new ones. Many people are afraid to joke in business groups and are very mistaken about this. A good joke can quickly win people over to you, making communication more informal. For me, Ivan Urgant is an unsurpassed master of his craft in humor. I was lucky enough to be on the same stage with Ivan and watch his activities from the audience. And I can tell you - this is talent! The talent to improvise, to express witty and very timely remarks, after which you simply cannot remain indifferent.

Read the emotions of your interlocutor

Perhaps this is the rule of an already established networker, because it is not so easy to use. When controlling emotions, you need to listen to body language, voice and meaning between words. If you feel something, ask about it directly: “This is your first time at a conference of this level, and you are embarrassed by this. This is true?" Note that it is very important to clarify your assumption, because it may be wrong. But, if you practice often, reading the emotions of your interlocutor becomes easier each time.

Latest news about Arthur

Now Arthur Kulinsky lives in the Moscow region. Doesn't work anywhere. Maximum time is spent on training. He believes that he has reached that stage of life when self-development and self-affirmation become the most relevant.

With age, the fighter has not become calmer and more balanced; street fights are still relevant for him.

Many assume that Arthur Akab Kulinsky skillfully uses his scandalous behavior to hype and increase his audience. But, in reality, the fighter devotes little time to his Instagram account. This differs from many other MMA fighters, for whom social networks are the main source of promotion. On Instagram, Kulinsky periodically posts photos of training moments and fights. Akaba does not have a YouTube channel.

Fans believe that participating in the Hardcore Fighting Championship was a rewarding experience for Kulinsky. This is a serious organization, the organizers of the fights control the behavior of their charges, give advice, and protect them from erroneous actions.

Trust the person

Your task is to instill trust on the part of your interlocutor. After all, the more they trust you, the more they will tell you and want to do business with you. It is not so easy. After all, people tend to divide people into good and bad, even though this is wrong. Some people believe that all people are bad until they prove otherwise and do something good. Others tend to believe that all people are good until they prove otherwise. Personally, I rather belong to the latter. It's easier for me to trust people. To build trust in yourself, be honest with your interlocutor. Don’t lie or hide shortcomings—tell the truth. This is what can inspire trust.

Personal life

Arthur Kulinsky led a wild life from a young age. When he became known as an MMA fighter, he gained many fans. Kulinsky can often be seen in the company of beauties, but the fighter does not have a girlfriend. Arthur has no plans to settle down or start a serious relationship yet. For him now, a sports career is of paramount importance, so a significant part of his time and effort is spent on training, improving physical performance, and preparing for fights.

Akaba has friendly relations with Nikita Vorozhbitov, a blogger and famous participant in mixed martial arts. Arthur learned many technical techniques from him.

Maintaining connections in Russian

Any conversation and any connection is strengthened in proportion to the degree of drinks that you drink at this time. Why are you looking like that? Let's admit to each other that the contacts with whom we are connected by more than 10 clinking glasses are closer and closer than those with whom the meeting was held in ties. I used to think that this was some kind of label that foreign businessmen hung on Russian entrepreneurs. But time passed, and I was increasingly invited to “establish connections in Russian.” Perhaps this is our secret approach to networking.

According to my personal observations, it is much more difficult to refuse a request from people with whom you spent a bath or leisure time.

Speak more simply

Honestly, each of us wants, one way or another, to show our best side. At the same time, we try to use more “smart” words to supposedly show our qualifications. Of course, this is necessary at the negotiating table or during an interview, but it is certainly not necessary when meeting a new person. You must be understood by your interlocutor. And if you use foreign or professional terminology, you can confuse your interlocutor. It is unlikely that he will tell you about this, so as not to seem like a “simpleton,” but he will contact you again without much desire.

MMA fights and statistics

While performing in MMA, Artur Kulinsky did not achieve much success; his fame was ensured more by his scandalous antics. In 2020, he applied to the sports organization Hardcore Fighting Championship to participate in fist fights. Passed the selection process and began intensive training. The head of the training process was the famous fighter San Sanych.

During the training process, to understand tactics, Kulinsky watched recordings of fights of famous fighters. He adopted many techniques from the Chechen sambo wrestler Zelimkhan.

Statistics on the participation of Arthur Akab Kulinsky in MMA are presented in the table:

Fist fights without gloves are always spectacular, but fights with Artur Kulinsky can be called a real spectacle. For PR, the fighter chose the tactics of aggressive acting. Akab turned three official fights into fights. You can also remember fights with fighters outside the ring.

Speak succinctly and to the point

This is an incredibly rare and valuable quality in people. Business people quickly analyze information and are able to identify the most valuable information from the crowd. But they will also be extremely grateful to you if this total mass is less. Don't try to bore your interlocutor by beating around the same issue. Brevity is the soul of wit.

Speak in active voice. This makes it much easier to understand; compare for yourself: “Speak in the active voice” and “You must speak in the active voice.” Do everything to make communication with your interlocutor easier.

Use names

You probably already know that the most pleasant sound or word for a person is his name. It would be a sin not to take advantage of this. There is even such a statement: “It is necessary to say the person’s name five times during the negotiations, then the probability of success of your negotiations will double.” I have not found scientific confirmation of this theory, but the fact that the use of names has a positive result does not give me any doubt.

I will focus on just one delicate point. The sound is, of course, pleasant, but each name can sound completely different. The young director of the company, Alexander Alexandrovich, can be called differently: 1) Alexander, 2) Sasha, 3) Alexander Alexandrovich, 4) San Sanych. How to guess which sound will be the most melodic for human perception? During further communication, I address a person in exactly the same way as he introduced himself to me. If I introduce myself by my first and patronymic names, that’s how I address them. If we were introduced by mutual acquaintances and he introduced himself simply by name, I will also not abuse officialdom and will address him by name.

Start of a sports career

It is not known exactly when Kulinsky began training. But his first appearance in the MMA ring took place in 2016 at Tourinir-6.

Arthur went to the Moscow sports club “Element” to train in combat sambo. The first entry into the ring against Nikita Konovalov was unsuccessful. The opponent used a strangulation technique, and it took him 1.5 minutes to defeat Kulinsky.

Arthur Akab is a candidate master of sports in combat sambo. He has the 3rd category in sports sambo.

Return to the values ​​of your interlocutor and do not impose yours.

Your main task is to focus on the values ​​of your interlocutor. Think about them, think about how you can help him. If you succeed and can help your interlocutor, you will instantly gain respect and trust in his eyes. Help can be expressed in advice, transfer of contacts, conclusion of a deal. It is important to fully focus on the values ​​of your interlocutor. Sometimes just supporting the person will be enough.

The main mistake in communication is imposing your values. If you think that after making a first impression you can announce the entire list of your requests and goals, you are deeply mistaken. The most convenient situation is if you can help your interlocutor at the first meeting, but at the same time you will not ask for anything. The person will be grateful to you and, of course, will not refuse help in return if you contact him in the future.

"I'm just watching". Arthur Salyakaev on how to sell without imposing

The phrase “I’ll just take a look” causes a slight twitch in the eye of most consultants today.
Surprisingly, many consultants really believe that every visitor who comes in should become a buyer. Most people put the goal of “sell now” above the goal of “helping you choose jewelry,” “helping you spend time comfortably”... Modern formats of shopping centers and a huge number of jewelry stores in them mean that many clients will come to one place to choose among different options. For a minute, you and I are doing exactly the same thing. That's why experienced consultants always respect clients' desire to look around first. Now let's figure out why this situation deserves an entire chapter in the book.

According to statistics, 72% of visitors who answered our question “Thank you, I’ll just take a look” leave without even entering into a dialogue with us. And there is great news, this number can be reduced to 26%, just by choosing the right “key”. Let's look at several options for answering the excuse “I'll just take a look.”

Option 1: Give the initiative completely to the client.

I’m sure you’ve often heard the phrase from various consultants: “
If you have any questions, ask
” or “
Yes, of course, if anything happens, I’m here
.” With this phrase, we completely transfer the initiative to the client’s side, and everything would be fine, only 72% will leave the jewelry salon without even starting a conversation with us. Therefore, experienced consultants do not use such language in their work.

Option 2: Do not give the opportunity to look around on your own.

Sometimes, if you see that the client has answered you quite gently, you can continue the conversation with the phrases “
I understand you, pay special attention to the display case with diamond jewelry, today they have a special discount of -20%.
(Pause) are you choosing for yourself or to please someone close to you? “In this way, we continue to communicate with the client without leaving him unattended.

On the other hand, let's be honest. When we ourselves want to “just look,” it is important for us to see the assortment and, if it suits us, to look at the prices. We would hardly want a consultant to accompany us at this moment. Therefore, the most popular option among experienced consultants is option 3.

Option 3. Give time to look around and re-discover the client.

The most effective option for working with the excuse “I’ll just take a look” is to actually let the client look around, but immediately warn that we will be back after a while. Example phrases you can use:

• Yes, of course, I'll come to you in a few minutes.
• Of course, take a look, I’ll come to you a little later and help you with your choice.
• I understand you, my name is Marina, in a couple of minutes I will come up to you and help you choose.
• Fine. Pay special attention to jewelry with semi-precious stones, today there is a very tasty offer on them - 10% discount, I’ll come to you in a minute.
• As I understand you, I myself don’t like it when sellers pounce. Of course, look around, I’ll come up to you in a couple of minutes.

It is necessary to approach the client again no faster than after 30-60 seconds (depending on the size of your salon). But something else is important - don’t “nag” him at the moment of choosing with your gaze, but simply go about your business a few meters away from him: adjust jewelry, price tags, move the mirror, put on a glove! A busy salesperson gets contacted much more often!

Try reading all the phrases out loud and highlight 1-2 of your favorite ones, I recommend using this particular option!

PS If, after approaching the client again, he also wishes to make his own choice and refuses to communicate, you can always return to Option No. 1 and transfer the initiative to the client’s side. True, such situations are extremely rare.

Option 4. Non-standard option “Change role”.

This option can be adopted by very experienced consultants who communicate with the client with absolute confidence and are always looking for new ideas. I will write this option in the form of a dialogue:

Client: I'll just take a look, thanks.

Consultant:
Yes, of course.
And I'm not a seller. (pause) Client: (pause)
What do you mean?
Consultant: (with a smile).
I am a specialist in personal selection of jewelry, I help guests of our salon choose jewelry to match their appearance, character, style, I am not involved in sales as such.
If you are interested in knowing which jewelry is right for you and which is not, can I tell you? As you understand, this option requires preparation and after a positive response from the client, you should have enough knowledge and experience to confidently advise the client and choose jewelry for him in style and appearance.

Advice:

Try using different approaches and calculate in practice in which case you will start communicating with more clients.

Say yes

Very non-standard advice, at first glance, especially after a series of books on the topic “say no first.” But there is a very big difference between “no” during negotiations and during the first contact with a person. If you want to give someone value and help, say yes to almost any request. You will create the impression of a friendly person who is ready to help in difficult times. No, don’t think that you need to always say “yes” in the future. Then act according to the circumstances. But when you first meet, it’s important to say “yes” to as many people as possible, because they may not expect it. And, as a rule, when meeting a person for the first time, they are not asked for anything global. Often these are small, unburdensome requests, the fulfillment of which will not be difficult for you, but the benefits for the person will be colossal.

Be careful with recommendations

Sometimes in our contact database there are people whom we hardly know, but our new friend needs services, help, a product, and this particular person can help in this matter. Be careful when giving advice and recommendations, because in this case you indirectly take responsibility. If you do not vouch for the quality of the work performed by the person you recommend, frankly say so: “I recently met the head of a construction company, most likely he will be able to help you. But I admit honestly, I personally have not yet had the opportunity to observe the quality of the work they performed. Write down his contact information." If we are talking about a high-ranking person, naturally, call him first and ask permission to transfer the contact to a third party. The same should be done if you met the director of a web studio at a conference, and 30 minutes later you met a person who urgently needs a website. Introduce them, but do not recommend the director of the web studio as a first-class specialist, because if he misses deadlines or makes a bad website, you will be indirectly blamed. Do you need it?

Photo: pixabay.com

Interesting Facts

Arthur Akab Kulinsky is a curious person. The number of his fans is growing. This fighter is attractive to the public for his naturalness and sincere emotionality. He is who he is, he doesn’t create pathos, he doesn’t hide the unpleasant facts of his biography, which is why the audience likes him.

Does the fighter have a tattoo?

Arthur Akab Kulinsky, like his friend Nikita Vorozhbitov, is a tattoo lover. He has big letters on his stomach - ACAB. The left arm is decorated with a “sleeve” representing complex natural motifs. The rest of the tattoos are associated with the fighter’s pagan worldview: a wolf cross, a black sun and a Kolovrat.

Akab calls his pagan tattoos swastikas, but does not associate them with Nazism. According to his worldview, the swastika is an ancient Slavic symbol, meaning the movement of the sun across the sky and the rotation of the galaxy. Arthur is far from politics and history; for him, swastika symbols are carriers of exclusively magical energy and sacred meaning.

Arthur Kulinsky Akab photo

Have you been to prison?

If you believe the fighter’s acquaintances, Akaba’s aggression and impulsiveness in the ring is a PR stunt; in life, Kulinsky is calmer and more restrained, but not by much. Arthur's impudent and impulsive character often served him poorly.

Kulinsky himself probably can no longer count how many times he ended up in the police station for street fights, vandalism in commercial establishments, and disobedience to law enforcement officers. Once I even got caught when I was planning to shoot with a machine gun. He served 2 years for robbery and assault.